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The Mostly Complete, Dummy’s Guide To Dj Wrangling

Hi fam

Im writing this not cause im butthurt at the hatemail, but more in to educating you into how to handle DJ’s.

Dj’s are sorta like cats, they are difficult to herd together in one place without a: free alcohol and/or b naked women. That being said, theres only one type of place to work more than 5 djs under one roof at any given time.

Record Pool Meetings. Rarely do you get to network with 50- to 500 djs at any one time. These dont often feature naked women, thats usually the strip club, and in a strip club sometimes theres as many as 10 in the house on the weekends. Record pool meetings are the most cost effective and direct way to network with dj’s and titty bars are the worst.

So lemme present some tips on approaching , handling and care of your dj’s.

Record pools are dying.

Record pools are dying. The internet made them obsolete. Gone are the days of TJ’s Epic quarterly parties at the Moon in Tallahassee. Theres a few left , Tony Neal of Core Dj’s being one of the largest , along with regional stalwarts like Ron White’s Record Pool in North Alabama. Do your research to find the record pool meetings in your area and go, make some new connectons.

Dont go to a strip club on friday or saturday night to work your record without having a relationship with that dj. He will empty your pockets and send you home to your wife broke and smelling of bad perfume and cigarette smoke. Do work your record at the strip clubs in the daylight hours. Theres plenty of time to talk to the dj, theres no money on the floor and you will have his undivided attention. Thats where you get the emails & phone numbers into your phone. Thats where you start a relationship. You call the dj once a week, drop by his crib for a smokeout, listen to some of his beats. Become a friend to a dj , and they will play your music if it fits in their sets.

Dont pay a dj more than 50$ to spin your record

Dont pay a dj more than 50$ to spin your record. You will be labeled a Mark. Evrytime a dj sees you they hands will be out, lookin for the grease. The goal is to get his hand out reaching for your new song, not your wallet.
That takes a relationship.

Dont expect a dj to listen to your music for free. Dj’s get 50-100 new songs everyday. Thats just the major label songs. We get just as many indie records a day too, so a dj doesnt have time to listen to every major record coming through the door everyday, let alone yours. Offer to compensate them for their time for a quick review and see how fast u get their attention. Most dj’s will do it for a 5 spot.

Dont think you are a special snowflake , or even hint you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. We hear it everyday. Be humble. Respect your dj and his time.

Dont call a dj and solicit your music without being prepared to spend at least a lil something for his time. Dont flood his inbox with a mixtape or 5 songs or 3 videos. Dont . Send one song, your hottest. Ever.

Dont flood a djs inbox with songs if he doesnt know you. I dont care how many times you send me your songs , if i dont know you, im not opening your shit. Its disrepectful and unprofesional to flood an inbox. And you will get blackballed.

If you arent on a label whos giving you a significant budget, servicing a digital record pool or email blast is a waste of time and money. I sell this shit , why would I say this? Because its the fucking truth. Dj’s have become hardened and wise to where they get they music. Spending 1500 on a blast from mp3 waxx or digi will get you ignored. we not stupid and shit doesnt come outta nowheree. It takes a huge budget to launch a campaign on a mojor level. Remember Frank Ocean just kinda drifted in outta nowhere? Yeah , turns out that was Kanye money. When someone just kinda comes in outta nowhere , on every blog site , from every angle, thats big goddamn money behind it , no matter if its a fetty wop, trinidad james, oj , waka or a frank ocean.

Dont ever ask a dj to google you

Dont ever ask a dj to google you , or in fact do any work at all. Make it easy for yourself and the dj , one song link and a pic and a very short bio is enough. Just dont ever ask me to look you up , thats just ,its just flaw. And fucking lazy. Fuck off with that shit.

Major Labels are dying. Havent you noticed the amount of independent music on the radio these days? Majors dont have the money to do business like they used to , so they merge, and merge and merge some more, till theres 2 left. Majors are only signing the flavor of the month, buying the artist out, putting them on the dog and pony show circuit till they wring every last dolla from the song they now own , and if you dont have a followup single ? That ok , this years flavor of the month will do the same thing , cheaper. Fetty Wop, Shmurda, Madeintyo, Desiigner, will these guys have a career 2 years from now ?

Respect your dj. Make entertaining songs. Make me believe every last sylable. Tell me a story over a hot beat. Its your job NOT TO FUCK THAT BEAT UP! Dont ruin producers hard work rapping off your notepad. Throwaway songs are just that, shit you did just to do. If you did 30 songs for your mixtape , and 7 of them moved me at all, I wouldnt relase the other 23. Make Every Song Count, and you can get a DJ’s attention real quick. Its not about recording quality if its a hit song. It doesnt matter as long as you entertain us. Make something special on that beat, and you can record it in a portapotty, we wont care. A Hit is a Hit.

This is an Entertainment business. If you dont know how to entertain people , you will never succeed in the business. Take this shit seriously. Learn how to entertain people and you will always find work. Grabbing your nuts with 20 goons behind you onstage is not entertaining, its 1994 wu tang clan shit and played the fuck out. Can you dance, can you make me laugh, can you stagedive, can you rock out like Ozzy? What can you do thats entertaining?

The point is , Inroduce yourself to djs at the right time , in the right context to work your record. Get his contact info into your phone. Follow up occasionally. Develop friendships.Make songs that entertain us and that will entertain our audience.Create Value and we will come to you.

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